Thursday, December 31, 2009

I just don't know

Sometimes God really puzzles me, what his plan is, why things happen like they do, what is going on, why my plan didn't happen? I just don't know... I mean He has proven over and over again that he is in charge and that he will pull threw and give me what he has promised in Jeremiah "plans to prosper me to give me a hope and a future". But why is He being so mysterious about what this is? I just don't know...this time it feels like he isn't as involved and that maybe he has forgotten me. I of course know that it is my fault and it is that I haven't spent the time with him that I need to and that I am the one who has drifted away. I know that I need to be more devoted and try to get back to the real relationship that we used to have. I just don't know... why has my life totally flipped upside down in the past few months, am I missing something, did I do something wrong, should I have done things differently? And why hasn't it righted itself yet? I just don't know... I keep second guessing myself and all the decisions that I have made, I thought I was doing what I was supposed to do, but it seems like after making these decisions the way I thought God was guiding me I have somehow lost touch with Him, now I am unsure. Maybe I lost him before making these decisions and have made the wrong decisions, maybe I just did what I thought was right and didn't look to God enough. I don't think that this is what happened but it just doesn't make sense. I just don't know...

Sunday, September 6, 2009


You know dusk, right when the sun has mostly set but there is still just a tad bit of light in the sky but it is mostly dark? I love that time of the day! It is really the best in the mountains, when all you can see are the outlines of the mountains and the beautiful darkish sky right above your head. This is the time of the day where everything is at peace, where you can stop and take a relaxing breath, and you just know that everything in the world is just as it should be. I love dusk!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Thanks for that...whatever that was

In the movie Cabin Boy there is a scene where this guy is dancing -- and Chris Elliot says, "Thanks for that...whatever that was." The other day those were my sentiments exactly. Bobby and I went to a great bluegrassy concert. But before the concert began I noticed that these people brought in some hula hoops and I thought "huh what is going on here." As the show began these people began hula hooping to the music. I mean it was crazy, this wasn't your elementary school hula hooping--they were using their necks, legs, and fingers to hoop along to the music, they were serious about this hula hooping. It was really like a train wreck you just couldn't stop watching, this was quite the amazing once in a lifetime experience, it really was one of the silliest things I have ever seen.

But here is the thing, these people were pretty much a spectacle but they were doing something they loved and really feeling the music. So here is my question why can't more of us act this way in worship? I mean these people were at a Bluegrass concert making fools of themselves for Old Crow Medicine Show. Why can't we get into worship this much, why can't we let go and not care that others are watching and that they might be pointing fingers and snickering at us. I mean people thought that David was literally insane due to his singing and dancing.

So who's bringing their hula hoop to church on Sunday??

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

one of those days

Have you ever had one of those days, where you wake up and everything is going along swimmingly, it seems it is going to be a great day, then all of a sudden something comes your way that takes you out like a Mack truck? It might not be a really awful thing but right now in this season of your life it is very discouraging. Well it has been one of those days for me.

I am praying for God's guidance, wisdom, love for others, understanding, and rationale.

Friday, August 7, 2009

summer nights

The summer night is like a perfection of thought. ~Wallace Stevens
The weather has been glorious this week, the days have been mild and breezy and the nights have never smelled sweeter. Weeks like this are what get me iching for fall, I love fall and I can almost taste it this week. However, I am sure it is just a teasing since we still have a full month of summer and the month of September before it will truly be fall here in VA. So I am trying to wait patiently and enjoy the moment that I am in. So I will enjoy this wonderful mild week of the summer and prepare to drink in the sticky days that are sure to come after this beautiful week.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Finding God

I missed the Harry Potter craze when it first came around but after seeing the preview for the latest movie I decided that I now wanted to read them. I just finished the second book and have to say that they are pretty enjoyable. I love that God is so evident in popluar culture, in music that is not labeled as "christian", in movies that may even have an R rating, and in books that some would consider "of the devil" do to witchcraft.

As I was reading the Chamber of Secrets I found a quote that I really loved. Dumbledore the great wizard who is head of the school of magic tells Harry Potter "It is our choices, Harry that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." I believe that this is often what God tells us as well. It doesn't matter if we feel we can or can not do something, it isn't if we feel we don't have the skills to do this or that, it is the choice that we make. Are we going to listen to God and do what He is calling us to do, or are we going to sit back on our behinds and ignore His calling because we feel we "Don't have the abilities to do that" God gave us gifts for a reason and in order to develop our gifts and skills we must use them. Isn't it nice to know that our effort counts for more than our ability?

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Happiness Is...

"I have observed that when any of us embarks on the pursuit of happiness for ourselves it eludes us. Often I've asked myself why? It must be because happiness comes to us only as a dividend. When we become absorbed in something demanding and worthwhile above and beyond ourselves happiness seems to be there as a by-product of the the self giving."
-- Catherine Marshall (A Closer Walk)

What are we throwing ourselves into, what are we doing with our time, how are we serving God.What are we doing that is demanding and worthwhile, that is bigger than our self - centered lives, in order to earn our happiness dividend?

Friday, July 10, 2009

what were they thinking???

Last night Bobby, my brother and sister-in-law and I decided after dinner to go see Public Enemies. We all enter the theatre excited thinking that this movie will be really exciting. Then after watching 20 minutes of commercials (which I hate -- if I wanted to see commercials I would have stayed at home and watched a movie on TNT) and previews which I love (Bobby won the preview game last night by guessing 6, stupid me and my pick of 5) the movie finally begins. It starts out promising and then continues to drag on and on and on and on get the picture. I mean how can you make a movie about bank robbing, death, and shootings bad? Well good job Michael Mann (the director) you did it. I mean honestly this movie should have been on the history channel I really kept expecting a voice over from Edward Herrmann (grandfather in Gilmore Girls who also narrates a lot of History Channel stuff). Johnny Depp did a great job and Christian Bale did well with what they gave him but I kept expecting his character to do something spectacular and it never happened they just didn't give him much to work with, I am really surprised that they chose to do this movie. Anyway that is enough my ranting, this is just my opinion so if you are dying to see it don't let me stop you but I really would say don't waste your money as all of us who saw it last night rated it as one of the worst movies we have seen in the theatre.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

always wanting what we don't have

I came across this video today while I was working on my Sunday School lesson for my youth. Funny how what we have is never enough and how we are always wanting and wishing for more. It might serve us well to just be happy where we are with what we have, we might very well end up with what we want but in a place that we don't want to be in. Praise God for knowing what exactly what He is doing!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

a good idea

The other day in the wee hours of the morning when I was unable to sleep I decide that I would become a part of this blogging world. At the time I thought up something really cool and clever to post on my blog, and thought of how I would be able to continue to come up with interesting things that would be of some interest to others. Now that I am posting I can't remember a thing that I thought of and now have no idea why anyone would have an interest in reading my blog but for those who do come across it they will find little tidbits about me and this crazy little thing called life.